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Gluten Free Rice Balls DISASTER!

I could have decided to skip this post. But why? We are all human. Just like I said in my recent blog Post, "I Can't Cook." Sure You Can!, we all have those days where everything goes wrong. Normally, I'm a very good cook, so everyone tells me. Hey, even top chefs have their disasters.

My gluten free fried lasagna came out much better and the process went more smoothly.

Another recent post, "We Eat First With Our Eyes" Color, Presentation in Food. holds true. I assure you, with this dish, color and presentation were lacking, especially the one I tried to make for my husband with ground beef. Let's just say, it didn't actually make it into balls. I wound up taking all the ingredients and mixing it together and cooking it up in the frying pan to create the "lovely dish" above. I told him, well, hopefully, the taste is there. Why I don't eat meat. UPDATE: I asked my husband this morning how the dish was when he tried it late last night. His expression alone made me laugh hysterically. Let's just say, he was not a fan. I'll let you know if the dogs like it.

Admittedly, this was my first attempt at rice balls. Liberace made playing the piano look easy. Lady Gaga makes singing look easy. Neither are. It takes years of practice and honing your skills.

I need to do some honing. Big time. Yes, I'm going to include the video of this calamity. Excuse my awkward technique in the video. I obviously need practice. I could have edited the video, but, why? You won't get the full effect. I could have set it to music, but the chaos taking place is so much more fun, dogs losing their minds over someone in the yard, my husband coming into the kitchen to make lunch and, although this wasn't filmed or heard in the video, he was in my way. I must also admit, I might be the only person who can put a stool down and then trip over it. It takes a special kind of talent. Luckily, the camera wasn't at the right angle to catch that graceful display.

Not only did I not master the art of making rice balls, but, today was just "one of those days" where everything went wrong. You know, Murphy's Law. It was like a three ring circus.

  • I forgot the camera on at one point. So I have a lengthy video of my hips as I wash pots. I did cut that out.

  • The tripod tipped with the camera on it and fell into my flour tipping the bowl. Not only did I have to clean the camera, a lot of expensive flour was wasted and I had to clean the counter tops, floor and cabinets. Yes, I said a lot of bad words.

  • I burned the first rice ball.

  • After tripping over a stool I placed in front of me myself, I knocked a glass off the counter trying to steady myself. It shattered all over the floor. Lucy, my red Chiweenie, was laying right outside the gate as always and got scared to death.

  • In the middle of all this INSANITY that was my attempt at cooking, I got a call from the bank. Someone in California was using my card for an Uber, Chick-fil-A PlayStation order and more. The bank put a block on my card and account. Fun times!

What I learned, because like I said in previous posts, you learn something from every situation.

  • Making rice balls stinks (okay, I may have used a different word, but stinks is what I'll put in this post). I'm sure my opinion will change once I figure out how to do it correctly.

  • I also think I should have cooked the onion, garlic and chickpeas a bit first before using it as stuffing in the rice balls.

  • Practice makes perfect. I need a lot of practice.

  • Although I worked with identity theft, no one, including myself, is immune to ID theft. Now I have to check EVERYTHING. I know what needs to be done, I worked in the field. It's not pretty. I realize that no matter how careful I am, how trained I am, it can STILL happen.

I've always said, there's humor in almost every situation. The bank rep and I got a good laugh. The account they chose had almost nothing in it. When she told me what was going on, I said, "Well, sucks for them, they aren't getting far." The lady busted out laughing.

It's 2020, I mean, a pandemic, wild fires, hurricanes, brain eating amoeba, riots, the craziest election in history, what's a little fraud and ID theft. Piece of cake.

Today also would have been my 35th wedding anniversary to my first husband. Thank God it's not. I was with him nine and a half years too long and left him in 1994. See, there is something to be thankful for in every situation. I am now married to a wonderful man almost ten years and when I told him of my rice ball disaster he said, "You busted your butt, it's ok." See why I'm still married to him.

By the way, my sister makes amazing rice balls. I think next time, I'll film her making them. I'll watch and try the way she does it and see if I can get the knack.

Below are instructions on how it should be done. I hope you have better luck than I did.

Cook rice according to package instructions, cover and refrigerate until cold.

Grind chick peas with garlic and onion.

Combine milk with cold rice and mix until well combined. (This is in place of eggs)

Mix peas with ground chick peas, onion and garlic mixture and add salt to taste. (This is your filling)

Keep a small bowl of water nearby to dip your hands into so that they don't get too sticky while rolling the rice balls. Using an ice cream scoop, scoop up rice - about a palm full. Make an indent in the middle, almost cup shaped. (See video above for my attempt at this) Stuff with filling and add a piece of mozzarella cheese. Enclose rice around filling, gently pressing and forming a ball. Put balls on a cookie sheet or in a large pan.

Place rice balls into the fridge for at least a half hour to firm up.

Prepare gluten free flour, milk and gluten free breadcrumbs in three separate bowls. Season your breadcrumbs with salt, garlic powder, onion powder and parsley and mix well with a fork.

Place rice ball into flour and coat on all sides, then into milk and then into breadcrumbs. Place balls back onto cookie sheet or pan. (See video above)

Stick the balls back into the fridge to dry out a little (approximately 15 minutes, 30 minutes is best) This will help prevent the coating from burning before the inside gets hot and the cheese melts.

Line a clean pan with paper towel to absorb the oil after frying. Fill a large skillet with oil and let the oil get hot. Add the rice balls to the hot oil. Don't put more than four or five balls at a time, it will drop the temperature of the oil and, rather than crispy rice balls, you will have soggy rice balls. Cook until golden. Remove with a slotted spoon and place on paper towel lined pan.

Serve with a side of tomato sauce and top with Parmesan cheese. Enjoy!

These freeze well so you can make a large batch and freeze for later use. Well, you can if you succeed in making the rice balls!!!!! Good luck.


Cooked white rice

Mozzarella cheese


Gluten free flour

Drained and rinsed Garbanzo beans (chick peas)

Peas - thawed

Tomato sauce

Gluten free breadcrumbs (plain)

Garlic powder

Onion powder

Dried Parsley


Chopped red onion

Garlic, chopped

Olive oil

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